If we have learned anything over the past few years, it is that we need to take time to care for ourselves. Of course this includes taking time for our favorite self-care activities, but it also encompasses speaking kindly to ourselves. Long walks and bubble baths can be wonderful, but they mean nothing if we are criticizing ourselves shortly after. This is where self compassion comes in. There has been an incredible amount of research into self compassion within the last decade, all of which shown how beneficial it is to supporting happiness, resilience, and satisfaction.

Understanding Self Compassion

Self compassion is essentially treating yourself with kindness. Imagine your close friend was going through a stressful time, like a break up, for example. You would likely meet them with love, support, and kindness. You would recognize their pain and suffering, and offer them compassion.

With self compassion, we offer ourselves these same things. Self compassion involves being kind and compassionate towards ourselves, instead of being judgmental and critical whenever we are going through a rough patch or have made a mistake. Those harsh words do us no favors. They only bury us deeper and deeper into a hole of shame. Mistakes are part of being human.

The Core of Mindful Self Compassion

Dr. Kristen Neff is one of the leading experts on mindful self compassion. She breaks down mindful self compassion into three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. So let’s dive in!

Self Kindness

The first step in cultivating self compassion is being kind to yourself whenever you experience failure or feel inadequate. Meeting ourselves with understanding and sympathy, rather than judgement and criticism, helps us to better accept ourselves.

COmmon Humanity

The second aspect of self compassion is recognizing our shared humanity. We are not meant to be perfect. We all make mistakes and we all experience suffering. This is part of the human experience. Part of cultivating self compassion is recognizing that we are not alone in these challenging times.

Mindfulness

The final part of self compassion is mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us to notice our feelings and thoughts without suppressing or denying them. With mindfulness, we must find the balance between ignoring our feelings and being swept away by negative thoughts. This element involves accepting our experiences and feelings.

The Physiology of Mindful Self Compassion

Before jumping into self compassion, let’s first look at the physiology of self-criticism. When faced with a physical threat, our body jumps into a fight-flight-freeze response. This response results in a cascade of increased heart rate, blood pressure, adrenaline, and cortisol. Our body responds similarly to emotional threats from others, as well as ourselves. This is where self-criticism lies. Interestingly enough, studies show that cultivating self compassion decreases cortisol levels, thereby reducing their fight or flight response. Reducing our own self-criticism can in turn reduce our ongoing stress.

In addition to reducing our fight-flight-freeze response, many think that self compassion taps into our innate mammalian caregiving system. This system involves oxytocin, often referred to as the love and bonding hormone. Increased levels of oxytocin are associated with increased connectedness and trust with others. This leaves researchers wondering if self compassion also triggers the release of oxytocin.

Quieting Your Inner Critic

Cultivating self compassion takes practice. Many of us have spent the majority of our lives with an inner critic, so reworking our thought patterns can take time. We are all different, so finding your own way of cultivating self compassion is unique to you, but here are a few ideas of where to start.

1. Pause and think about how you would respond to a friend experiencing the same situation.

2. Take a self compassion break. I like this audio.

3. Journal your process of moving through troubling events in order to start reframing your thought patterns.

About the Author

Dr. Hannah is a naturopathic doctor providing whole body adjunctive healthcare to patients in Maine and Massachusetts. She believes every patient has their own unique health journey, which influences her personalized treatment approach. She has a passion for helping women, mothers and families heal and thrive, all while uncovering the root cause of whatever ails them. Her goal is to empower and guide her patients on the path towards healing the mind, body and soul through natural methods of healing. Dr. Hannah sees patients locally in Portland, Maine. Through telehealth, she is happy to serve the people of Lewiston, Ellsworth, Belfast, Bangor, and all the towns in between! She now sees Massachusetts patients through telehealth as well!

Disclaimer

The information provided on or through this website is for educational and informational purposes only. This information is not a substitution for proper and personalized medical diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or trusted healthcare provider before making an adjustments or changes to your healthcare regimen. Natural medicine is not inherently harmless, and therefore it is important to speak with your healthcare providers for personalized medical advice.